Those who have the misfortune to know me well, or at least have had a conversation with me at some point in the past will know that i'm not often forthcoming with praise about films and the like, but I have to say that having sat and watched Kick-Ass this week I find myself very much so back in love with Hollywood offerings.
Kick-Ass is a film that goes back to the 'KISS' theory of film making - (K)eep (I)t (S)imple, (S)tupid. Where film makers forego the notion of layering plotline after plotline of pointless rubbish to keep the ending a suprise and filling our screens with so many Effects, famous faces and the latest crappy pop song overtures by today's useless popular musicians.
Kick-Ass was a fun "super"-hero flick, no delusions of grandeur mired the marketing, it was a simple story, ticking every monomythical structure box that could be thrown at it. It was a revelation to feel a real sense of tension when things weren't going well and elation when events took a turn for the better. I haven't had a genuine experience like that since that 3rd season episode of BSG when the Galactica is free-falling in New Caprica's atmosphere whilst launching Viper's and the sense that they may actually get destroyed in orbit later on.
I digress, Kick-Ass really was an enjoyable experience, I have it on good authority that even Nicholas Cage was good in it, apparently i'm the only person on earth that enjoys his movies as a rule - My better half isn't so forgiving and thus her opinion of his performance is probably more accurate than mine, but I REALLY liked him in this.
The lead, he was okay, his cronies - they were okay too.
The real gem is - Chloe Moretz as Mindy Macready AKA: Hit Girl - It's not necessarily the Catch yoU Next Tuesday utterance that made me chuckle but the fact that no-one survives her and her introduction of hacking someone's leg off is particularly endearing - Of Hit Girl one can say, She is simply a vicious little cherub whose easy on the ears dialogue is spectacular at points and i'm sure Nicholas Cage's life was made infinitely easier during filming having an incredible performer to work with.
She was a credit to the film, unfortunately her performance will be forever mired with the inevitable bad language backlash that the media dish out whenever a youngster utters anything that respreents them as being anything other than sweet innocent children, the aforementioned Catch yoU Next Tuesday line is more representative of how children actually speak and have spoken like since this author was young. I'm glad the film makers kept it in and i'm glad it was her line.
Kick-Ass won't win any awards for originality, but what it does do is follow the rules of an entertaining and thoroughly endearing tale of good vs Evil, Right and Wrong and victory over adversity.
I love it, and highly recommend it to anyone who hasn't.
A collection of scrawlings that are often slammed together when i'm inebriated after watching a flick, or on my lunch at work.
Friday, 28 May 2010
Saturday, 1 May 2010
Never outnumbered, never outgunned - Iron Man II
It can't be easy to follow up a particularly well loved title and i'm trying to rack my brains with regards to whether or not Jon Favreau has pulled it off, so to speak with Iron Man 2. I went in, as most did with a certain amount of excitement. Remember 2008? and that despondent reservation which you had when you entered the auditorium for Iron Man. None of that this time. No reservations as to whether the guy who played Matt Murdock's bumbling Lawyer sidekick in the disappointing Daredevil could direct better than he could act (although he does play, yet another bumbling sidekick character in this...) Well last time he did it and very well indeed. It was Marvel's first solo foray into film production and it worked.
I enjoyed Iron Man 2, it was fun, funny and so self deprecatingly candid, maybe to the point of Emoism (that's a new word for Naval gazing without any real point, or benefit) I found it difficult to relate to the Tony Stark of this film, whereas in 2008's outing he was this almost autistic, eccentric, aristocratic jester, this time he was, for want of a better phrase a bit Emo.
Don't get me wrong here, I enjoyed this film immensely with so many nods to the mythology of the Marvel Universe and the wonderful semi reveal at the (VERY) end it was great fun. I won't go into the nods because, frankly they are the best bits of the film and the parts that probably kept me hooked in to the films jittery pace. Mickey Rourke was as intense as he was in the wrestler (in my opinion) and a very formidable foe, at least in his reveal at the race track. Scarlet Johannson's character was completely pointless, to have a single character that built up throughout the story for the sake of a pretty lame gag was a waste of a huge amount of screen time that could have been given to an actor with some real chops, in my honest opinion that was negligent to say the very least.
There was plenty of CG which was pretty nice, Casting my mind back the first one was very heavy on the CG, but it did teeter on the razor's edge, it nearly did what this did and that was go too far into the realm of robot wars.
I think my biggest complaint was, that there was very little humour in this film. Let's not forget that Iron man appeared before The Dark Knight in 2008 so the world had yet to be introduced to just how bleak the superhero movie could go and how "not ridiculous" these stories can be. Iron Man though had a campness about it that was lacking in this tale. Marvel's Iron man Comics were serious, I get it. Tony was a very serious character buried behind bravado and where comics have years to build up the Mythology, the movies have had a little over four hours in total. You have to cram it all in. I can forgive that, but that doesn't mean that other characters can't be sucked in to Tony's Ego and believe him to be impenetrable. Keep Pepper out of this equation as it's her job to be his quote unquote "wife" in the story but how snivelling was Don Cheadle's Roadie? We just didn't NEED that many people fluffing around Tony Stark. Nick Fury, Natalie, Roadie, Pepper Potts even the bloody Computer was whining at him. With that many Nay sayers around you it must be hard to take a dump let alone save the world from killer robots.
This film wasn't so much a case of Iron Man versus "cliche" bad guy but Tony Stark versus his friends and it's for that element of the story that I think Iron Man 2 lets its predecessor down, not that this is a bad film, but it really isn't a patch on the tight storytelling of the first instalment. The thing that REALY raped the story was the fact that the baddies were outnumbered and outgunned from the moment they entered the frame. Tony Stark was not for a second in that film made vulnerable, he was always surrounded in a bubble "of Love" from his friend's who kept protecting him. Even his dead father was around to help him.
There were two bad guys in this movie, one was pussy and the other was really only hard in the same way that Tony Stark is tough, with a robot suit that's impregnable unless he's completely outgunned by The good guys.
There were hundreds of good guys in this film. two in robot suits, one who's "the man" one who's supposed to be pretty and deadly and about fifty other sidekicks. With odds like that even an idiot chav heavily intoxicated by white lightning cider knows to avoid getting involve let alone someone as smart as a physicist whose father helped Howard Stark create Arc technology. I think Rourke did the best with what he was given and to be honest he was the best part of the whole film.
For Rourke's performance and the nods to the Marvel mythology this was a great film, it didn't quite meet my expectations and the bad guys never really had a chance of winning and the last battle seemed a little rushed in the edit. Still I like Iron man and was a pretty good romp.
Tuesday, 16 February 2010
Better late than never
So I went to see AVATAR and I really felt like I had to make a few comments, firstly being that I loved the film. A true return to top form for Mr. Cameron who let it slide somewhat with Titanic but nonetheless really brought his 'A' game for this film. The second comment probably won't go down too well with most, but the plot was very thin on the ground. Whilst the movie made some insanely huge steps forward in relation to film making, the storytelling was relatively straightforward. I'm not saying that the film suffered for this in any way. It was excellent and a joy to experience in 3d, even with two fuckwits persistently chatting throughout right in front of me. My enjoyment of the film was not in any way demeaned by the plot.
The message of the film was relatively simple, corporate America takes on Nature and loses, but in an extremely cool way - It really was pretty spectacular towards the end of the film. The film tended to stick to a relatively standard monomythical structure throughout and whilst it told the story in a very new and unique way, I couldn't help feel that the technology behind the camera was dictating an awful lot of what was going on in front of the camera. Perhaps teetering on the edge of overwhelming it, but not quite doing so which makes it pretty hard to not love this film.
At the beginning of the story, conversations between characters that would have been conducted in offices and still had the same dramatic impact were immediately moved to other locations for want of a FX shot. In parts it almost came accros as ignore the story here, but check out what we can do with our new toys. Don't get me wrong here, i'm not saying I didn't buy in, I did and in a huge way. In retrospect there could have been a monumental evolutionary leap forward in film making here that would have truly stamped this production into the minds of generations going forward a hundred years or so, much like a modern Citizen Kane or whatever.
I'm not so sure that in our mass consumer mind set that AVATAR is going to have the longevity of a Star Wars or the endearing nature of a Lord of The Rings. Not to say that this film wasn't good, or that it didn't do what it said it was going to do. It all played the same sort of tune that Jurassic Park and Independence Day did to me. Look at what we can do, leave your brain at home and enjoy the wonderment of special effects.
**But**
They were pretty damned amazing and the story did enough for me, to propel one into the sparse mythology that was provided and buy in wholesale to the notion that something pretty phenomenal was being played out in front of me.
It looked good, the message was conveyed and it did what it said it was going to do - and thank god it wasn't a bloody 80's remake or reboot. It was original and it was beautiful. Fine it wasn't the Hollywood redeemer film that I wanted it to be, but it was a bloody good nod in the right in the right direction and I can't wait for more.
All I'll say in my humble opinion is that the technical process was nailed, combine that with an excellent script and he really will have revolutionised filmaking.
Still, definitely one of the best event movies of recent history.
Two Thumbs up from me.
Tuesday, 8 December 2009
5 Years On..... A message for the fallen. RIP Dimebag Darrell Abbott.
So here we are, awash with diabolical pretenders peddling their shallow wares and further assuring us that the glory days of metal are truly over. Do we weep? Do we get angry, drink ourselves into oblivion? Take it out on those around us?
No, the dissidents of yesteryear collect themselves and gracefully drink a toast to a legend. The Jimmi Hendrix of my generation, one Dimebag Darrell Abbott was taken from us five years ago today.
A single act of hatred changed my outlook on life and would determine my musical taste forever more. Not the brutal act of Nathan Gale in Ohio on December 8th 2004 – but the act, not a month before and the words uttered by Phil Anselmo. Potentially, those words were the inspiration for Nathan Gale committing those terrible murders, I was by far and away blown away by just how much baseless hatred was spouted from the lips of this “metal icon” When I read the article. I’m not referring to the “Dimebag deserves to be beaten severely” line that Mr Anselmo has frequently commented on, but the other pages of vitriol that this individual sought to spew about two brothers, who essentially handed him the world he wanted, and one that he proceeded to throw back in their faces. That’s a different story for a different time, this is my story of how I came to know and love the music of the Abbott brothers and the impact it would have on me.
I found myself avoiding Pantera throughout the 90’s, I wasn’t into the arrogance of a band who I narrow mindedly assumed were just a bunch of drunks who made noise – No, I liked Metallica (a band whose drummer is potentially the single most arrogant man in metal and has been for many years – that’s a different story, for another time.) and Iron Maiden, who couldn’t decide who they wanted to sing for them. Guns N Roses, who were dead and buried before they knew it and plenty of others who have fallen by the wayside and long since been forgotten.
No, I wasn’t angry enough for Pantera, I was only a younger teenager at this point in time and to be honest, I had nothing to be that angry about. However, I was a teenager and like most teenagers I got angrier and more pissed off with the establishment of popular music as the decade proceeded and the 90’s was prime fodder for crap music. At this point I hated Grunge (but I grew up), I hated Indie (and still do, thankfully) I found my arena for being angry steadily growing. However, I was young, foolish and narrow minded, so I avoided Pantera because I was too much of a wuss to give them a go. Those who know me and know my musical tastes of the past 10 years will potentially be quite shocked at this revelation. Hell, it’s a time of reflection and we’re all young and stupid once – we grow up in many ways and retain our childlike curiosity in others, I never strayed too far from Pantera though and so my story continues.
Fortunately I woke in time, for I was to learn, just a few short years later that an honest and decent man had been stolen away from us and never again would we see his like again. Anyway, my first taste of Pantera was obviously the indomitable “Walk” from ‘Vulgar Display of Power’ in a night club when I was 16, this is 1995 so I’m a little bit behind the times at this point. This was a revelation, an eye opener and it would be another 2 years before I listened to a whole Pantera album – I loved the music, but I couldn’t get past the man at the front.
So we’ll skip a few years to 2001, the towers fall and the world of metal is changing. I have access to more music than I ever did, I watch music channels I see a Texas based band’s first music video for their first single. That band was Drowning Pool and the song, was their intense “Bodies” single. Another eye opener, I’m hooked that’s it. This group, are a dream with heavy riffs, an awesome singer and everything I’d been looking for in a band for a long time. A veritable powerhouse of fun and metal they were. Then David ‘Stage’ Williams passes away suddenly in Aug 2002 and that dream is suddenly brought to an end (unfortunately they never could find a suitable replacement and even with their current line-up, they’ll never match that ferocity and passion again) I was lucky enough to see them in 2002 at the Ozzfest and they were fantastic, who knew a couple of months later and that amazing guy would be gone. A sad time. In the December of 2002 I was bought a copy of the Drowning Pool Sinema DVD – a tribute to Dave ‘Stage ‘ Williams came from an unlikely source – Well, not unlikely when you discover that Dave and this guy were very good buddies, The tribute came from non other than, Dimebag Darrell Abbott. It was a heart-warming and honest impression of the impact that a rising star had made on a famous heavy hitter of the metal world. I started to understand that there was maybe a little more to the Pantera legend than just drinking and arrogance.
So I began to consume Pantera in volumes equivelant to those consumed in alcohol by the band themselves at the height of their career. I began to be switched on to heavier music and so I went on a journey of discovery that would allow me to discover some of the most intense bands I’ve experienced, to enjoy the sweet rush of adrenaline nowhere else but a Mosh Pit can deliver. It wasn’t a band, it wasn’t a style of music. But one man and his honest heartfelt tribute to another man, who both shared a love of something that I did too. Music.
I ended up being touched by Pantera’s music and later Damageplan’s because of Dime’s sincerity, I understood his love of the genre and his desire to keep playing. It’s a feeling I can relate to in different parts of my life. The music gained new meaning to me, the same as it did to those who recognized it way sooner than I did, but I got it in the end boys and girls and that’s what matters. Panter were amazing, alas I never saw them live. I did however see Dime and Vinnie perform my much loved “Walk” at Donnington in 2004 – it was a tremendous experience and the voice didn’t matter it was Vinnie and Dime on the mainstage at Download blowing the whole crowd away with a balls out performance of a much loved classic. Tremendous. I can remember the day clearly just like that performance by my other fallen hero two years previously on the same stage. It was spectacular – both times. No-one will ever take that experience away.
I could talk about Dimebag’s tremendous impact on the world of guitar playing, my god who can deny the power of this man’s music. No-one can. But It wasn’t that which switched me on to Pantera, it was Dimebag himself – just being a guy, who missed a friend and wanted to pay his respects to him honestly and simply – I was touched. We let these people into our lives, they bring us up when we need it and help us to understand ourselves and our environments when we’re down. Dime’s words about Dave Williams were honest, heartfelt and most of all uplifting.
The complete antithesis of the tone of the words I would later read in Metal Hammer’s either November or December issue 2 years later in 2004. Such venom and anger were the basis of Phil Anselmo’s interview in that magazine. A hatred for the brothers Abbott, unrivalled (I thought at the time) by anyone else in the world. That article left me cold, I’d read harsh words tossed around between embittered rivals from bands before and it certainly wouldn’t be the last, I mean there’s still artist’s who like to throw bile around about others and create rivalry, it’s par for the course these days. But this interview, it was without playful intention or misunderstood context, it was just mean. It was cold and threatening, anyone as unhinged as Nathan Gale clearly was, was definitely going to read the message he inevitably did and respond in a completely unpredictable way.
I have recently watched over interviews with friends and family of Dimebag and Phil Anselmo various stints in front of the camera. It’s clear from Phil’s own behavior he suffers a tremendous burden of guilt about the death of Darrell Abbott – Whether this is rightly so or not. It’s not for anyone to comment barring the family and Phil Anselmo.
I have an opinion and I will share that amongst friends only, I won’t sully a tribute to a great man by embarking on a separate quest. I just felt compelled to pay tribute to a man who had an impact on my life, and had a huge influence on my musical tastes as well as many of my close friends.
I never lost my love of metal, this is my 30th year on this mortal coil, and the music my folk’s hoped I’d grow out of just won’t go away, it’s profound impact on my life and the sense of comradeship you experience when you’re around likeminded folk is unmatched by any other. Dimebag Darrell was the epitome of metal, love for life, friends and the music he played and listened to.
Dime was a tour de force on stage when I was lucky enough to experience it. I’ve only been touched by one other performance in the same way. They too are gone now.
To our fallen heroes, whoever they may be – We all have them. For me – They were Dimebag Darrell Abbott and Dave “stage” Williams. They were friends and now they’re reunited. I’m glad I got to experience their talents.
That’s what we should celebrate.
So, Get “fucking Hostile” – “let the bodies hit the floor” and “walk” to the Off License/Liquor store or wherever you get your Booze from. Take “5 Minutes alone” and be “reminded” of these awesome guys.
I’m sorry to those who feel it’s wrong to talk about both today, but I can’t think of one without thinking of the other – and they were both just awesome.
Check em out:
Monday, 22 June 2009
Revenge of The Fallen, or the Scriptwriters?
So let's chat briefly about the new Transformers movie Revenge of the Fallen. Oh and if you don't want the plot spoiling then it's probably best not to read on.
At first glimpse the film looks to be pretty much exactly the same as the first one, big giant robots that only a select few individuals know anything about..... Errr hold on a minute, didn't nearly the entire planet witness their arrival, as well as a ton load of city dwellers witnessing them having a HUGE battle with other big giant robots?????
Apparently not, the Autobota are now part of an elite gang, sorry I mean team of soldiers fighting against the Decepticons. Except this time the humans have bigger guns - oohh it's like the end of Starship Troopers only even more camp!
Let's not get ahead of ourselves though, the plot is relatively simple yet so deeply mired in a vain attempt to get the fanboys on side by interweaving bits and pieces from the accepted Transformers mythology, the films tends to get a little confused and unaware of where it wants to go. In the end, this film is quite unashamedly one thing, a big movie, with big robots and lots of explosions and why the hell not.
It's not like the world needs the 200 million spent on it's creation for anything more important. As a huge fan of the 80's Transformers movie, I think if only Bay had spent maybe a little bit of that gargantuan budget on a single writer from the rather extensive Transformers cannon then maybe, just maybe this film would have achieved a result as monumental as the budget.... To satisfy the fanboys.
As a normal, run of the mill type of individual such as myself (I know hard to believe for those who have actually met me) then this movie is quite simply a spectacular film with thrills and spills and loads of hillarity, well there's a couple of amusing moments.
Which brings me to the part where I discuss (sorry I meant, Rant) about the Humour in this film. There are some genuinely heart warming moments involving the geriatric Jetfire who, to be honest is the best character in the film and the only one who is actually developed in any kind mature and genuine way. The twins: Skids and Mudflap (I think they're called) are boring although they are worthy of a chortle or two in parts, but mostly are as irritating as JAR JAR BINKS and we all know where comparisons like that can lead us.
Insert Spaced Quote here:
No they don't do the impossible and make JAR JAR look like Shaft, but they do make Jazz from the previous film, a sorely missed character and one that, after this movie's events, we're likely to meet again.
The Decepticons again come off like one dimensional losers with next to nothing to show for their efforts other than a lot of dead robots, that will obviously be forgotten and buried in the Laurentian Abyss - for all the good that did them in the last movie.
The human characters once again ruin the the film, although not completely as there are plenty of big giant transforming robots to distract us from the scriptwriter's terrible dialogue. Seriously, they could make these movies without the human element and it would not only be a challenge, but might actually be good at the same time - too many human characters, makes these films near impossible to watch - also notable is the absence of Jon Voight as the senior government official in the previous film. WIthout him it just ends up being a shocking mix of rubbish human characters all offering their tuppence of mediocrity to the mix.
The stand out moment in the film for me was the moment where the snivelling human government official tries to sack off the Autobots by saying that it's all about America and they have the authority to speak on behalf of the whole world when asking if the Autobots would leave the planet if asked, fair enough Optimus has a good retort but WTF? Where did the notion come from in the first place that the US President has the right to speak on behalf of the whole world when it came to ALien matters?
Where do these fucking scriptwriter's get off? Arrogance and self importance or rather national self importance have nothing to do with Sci-Fi and only have a place in presidential election campaign speeches. Leave it at home you fucking ingrates and just write a movie.
To sum, I actually thoroughly enjoyed this yarn of a film and i'm sure that at Christmas, when the DVD (and Blu-Ray) is released I'll grab a copy and thoroughly enjoy it again, and the niggling factors will be forgotten, much like they were with the last one. Not a movie for Fanboys, but definitely an excellent addition to the Transformers universe. I just hope they get rid of the dickhead writer's and hire some people who can.
Suprising really, when you consider they wrote Star Trek and did an excellent job with that, a shame. Maybe they're one trick transforming ponies. Watch it, enjoy it and forget about it until the DVD comes out - but definitely go see it.
PS
Anyone seen the GI JOE trailer - don't the two guys in suits running and jumping around towards the end of the trailer look like they're moving EXACTLY like Ironhide and Ratchet do in the last Transformers movie - Hmmmm - cheapskate FX me thinks!!!!!!
Peace.
(Added: In a rage!!!! Coz I remembered summat!)
The addendum:
So, let's talk about the other apparently fascinating aspect of the Transformers series of films, The Megan Fox effect! As both a fan of excellent films and the hollywood hotties, I feel it VERY important to add at this juncture that Megan Fox is a sub-standard hollywood hottie - she has no original look and she's certainly not the hottest babe they could have added to make this film sale-able. The girl runs around with Chicken fillets in her push up bra pretending to be a lusty temptress, it's insulting.
The moral of this story cannot be "If you can't please the fanboysentirely then throw in some eye candy and they'll be happy" - If so, then at least put a chick in who doesn't spend the whole fucking movie pouting like the main special effect in a Tim Burton feelgood extravaganza! (Yes! i'm talking about Big Fish) God she's annoying in Revenge of The Fallen, and the last one as well! "Sayemm!!!" "Sayemm!!!" That's about the only line they could trust her with throughout the whole damned thing. His name's SAM!!!!!! three fucking letters you retard!!!! (No wonder they only gave her two wheels to ride in the movie, anymore and the whole fucking world would have been doomed) SAM is spelled S.A.M. and that's how you say it. It really isn't that difficult to say you pucker lipped mongtard
Transformers 3 - minus the tattooed bimbo (who'll ask for too much money anyway, in the typical bimbo fashion of "this movie will fail without me") - and whilst you're at it, all the other shite human cast as well - More giant transforming robots, more story and get some more Car manufacturers on side whilst you're at it, they got an Audi in this one, an R8 no less! and they lopped it in half, it was very cool though! but in the real world German cars kick American cars right in the ass and if the Autobots had any sense, at least one of them would be an M3!
At first glimpse the film looks to be pretty much exactly the same as the first one, big giant robots that only a select few individuals know anything about..... Errr hold on a minute, didn't nearly the entire planet witness their arrival, as well as a ton load of city dwellers witnessing them having a HUGE battle with other big giant robots?????
Apparently not, the Autobota are now part of an elite gang, sorry I mean team of soldiers fighting against the Decepticons. Except this time the humans have bigger guns - oohh it's like the end of Starship Troopers only even more camp!
Let's not get ahead of ourselves though, the plot is relatively simple yet so deeply mired in a vain attempt to get the fanboys on side by interweaving bits and pieces from the accepted Transformers mythology, the films tends to get a little confused and unaware of where it wants to go. In the end, this film is quite unashamedly one thing, a big movie, with big robots and lots of explosions and why the hell not.
It's not like the world needs the 200 million spent on it's creation for anything more important. As a huge fan of the 80's Transformers movie, I think if only Bay had spent maybe a little bit of that gargantuan budget on a single writer from the rather extensive Transformers cannon then maybe, just maybe this film would have achieved a result as monumental as the budget.... To satisfy the fanboys.
As a normal, run of the mill type of individual such as myself (I know hard to believe for those who have actually met me) then this movie is quite simply a spectacular film with thrills and spills and loads of hillarity, well there's a couple of amusing moments.
Which brings me to the part where I discuss (sorry I meant, Rant) about the Humour in this film. There are some genuinely heart warming moments involving the geriatric Jetfire who, to be honest is the best character in the film and the only one who is actually developed in any kind mature and genuine way. The twins: Skids and Mudflap (I think they're called) are boring although they are worthy of a chortle or two in parts, but mostly are as irritating as JAR JAR BINKS and we all know where comparisons like that can lead us.
Insert Spaced Quote here:
No they don't do the impossible and make JAR JAR look like Shaft, but they do make Jazz from the previous film, a sorely missed character and one that, after this movie's events, we're likely to meet again.
The Decepticons again come off like one dimensional losers with next to nothing to show for their efforts other than a lot of dead robots, that will obviously be forgotten and buried in the Laurentian Abyss - for all the good that did them in the last movie.
The human characters once again ruin the the film, although not completely as there are plenty of big giant transforming robots to distract us from the scriptwriter's terrible dialogue. Seriously, they could make these movies without the human element and it would not only be a challenge, but might actually be good at the same time - too many human characters, makes these films near impossible to watch - also notable is the absence of Jon Voight as the senior government official in the previous film. WIthout him it just ends up being a shocking mix of rubbish human characters all offering their tuppence of mediocrity to the mix.
The stand out moment in the film for me was the moment where the snivelling human government official tries to sack off the Autobots by saying that it's all about America and they have the authority to speak on behalf of the whole world when asking if the Autobots would leave the planet if asked, fair enough Optimus has a good retort but WTF? Where did the notion come from in the first place that the US President has the right to speak on behalf of the whole world when it came to ALien matters?
Where do these fucking scriptwriter's get off? Arrogance and self importance or rather national self importance have nothing to do with Sci-Fi and only have a place in presidential election campaign speeches. Leave it at home you fucking ingrates and just write a movie.
To sum, I actually thoroughly enjoyed this yarn of a film and i'm sure that at Christmas, when the DVD (and Blu-Ray) is released I'll grab a copy and thoroughly enjoy it again, and the niggling factors will be forgotten, much like they were with the last one. Not a movie for Fanboys, but definitely an excellent addition to the Transformers universe. I just hope they get rid of the dickhead writer's and hire some people who can.
Suprising really, when you consider they wrote Star Trek and did an excellent job with that, a shame. Maybe they're one trick transforming ponies. Watch it, enjoy it and forget about it until the DVD comes out - but definitely go see it.
PS
Anyone seen the GI JOE trailer - don't the two guys in suits running and jumping around towards the end of the trailer look like they're moving EXACTLY like Ironhide and Ratchet do in the last Transformers movie - Hmmmm - cheapskate FX me thinks!!!!!!
Peace.
(Added: In a rage!!!! Coz I remembered summat!)
The addendum:
So, let's talk about the other apparently fascinating aspect of the Transformers series of films, The Megan Fox effect! As both a fan of excellent films and the hollywood hotties, I feel it VERY important to add at this juncture that Megan Fox is a sub-standard hollywood hottie - she has no original look and she's certainly not the hottest babe they could have added to make this film sale-able. The girl runs around with Chicken fillets in her push up bra pretending to be a lusty temptress, it's insulting.
The moral of this story cannot be "If you can't please the fanboysentirely then throw in some eye candy and they'll be happy" - If so, then at least put a chick in who doesn't spend the whole fucking movie pouting like the main special effect in a Tim Burton feelgood extravaganza! (Yes! i'm talking about Big Fish) God she's annoying in Revenge of The Fallen, and the last one as well! "Sayemm!!!" "Sayemm!!!" That's about the only line they could trust her with throughout the whole damned thing. His name's SAM!!!!!! three fucking letters you retard!!!! (No wonder they only gave her two wheels to ride in the movie, anymore and the whole fucking world would have been doomed) SAM is spelled S.A.M. and that's how you say it. It really isn't that difficult to say you pucker lipped mongtard
Transformers 3 - minus the tattooed bimbo (who'll ask for too much money anyway, in the typical bimbo fashion of "this movie will fail without me") - and whilst you're at it, all the other shite human cast as well - More giant transforming robots, more story and get some more Car manufacturers on side whilst you're at it, they got an Audi in this one, an R8 no less! and they lopped it in half, it was very cool though! but in the real world German cars kick American cars right in the ass and if the Autobots had any sense, at least one of them would be an M3!
Labels:
Apotheosis night,
Fallen,
Revenge,
review,
Transformers,
Zombiestompa
Friday, 8 May 2009
a musing on Star trek (2009)
For those not wishing to know the plot - read no further, those who don't care and want to read my ramblings then go for it. You may well be amused - partially.
Upon first discovering that there was a new Star Trek film on the horizon, after dealing with the usual - "oh my god, it'll be an odd numbered Star Trek movie, and it'll be shite" - musings. I wondered what form the film might take, Next Gen? DS9? Or god forbid Voyager (i'm not even going to mention Enterprise - no way I can hear a movie version of that fucking theme song!). I was floored to discover, it would be the original crew albeit an origin movie, ergo the perfect excuse for new blood and re-envisioning of Gene Roddenberry's Original Star Trek series from the sixties. .
Well it would've been easy to say 12 months ago that sci-fi was in desperate need of some major overhauling - Battlestar was nearly over, Star Wars was about to return -for what some might say was an unnecessary Animated Feature, definitely ill-advised nonetheless - However the prospect of a new Star Trek feature unfortunately became buried under the mire of The Dark Knight and Heath Ledger's incredible penultimate onscreen performance as the Joker. Robert Downey Jnr's reclamation of his movie career as Tony Stark in Favreau's Iron Man, were just two of last year's culprits for the light being drawn away from the development of this re-imagining of, what some have described as a modern classic. Good thing too, too much attention may have had a detrimental effect on the final result.
So,
Was it worth the wait? in a word, Yes! A huge triumph in the same context that Battlestar Galactica's re-imagining was also a huge breath of fresh air for science fiction as a genre. Star Trek was well and truly kicked into the 21st Century, and about bloody time too.
Obviously the "Trekkies" will be in uproar over the destruction of Vulcan, the potentially awful portrayal of the Romulans (kind of like trampy, tattooed Vulcans with stubble) and the complete disregard for the original timeline - but they'd best make sure they WATCH the film, as to spend the duration in a rage would be to miss the point of the movie. Underneath all these elements sits an incredible sci-fi adventure, that well and truly validates it's own existence in the Star Trek cannon, far more so than the abortion that was Enterprise – even though there is a nod to it in this movie, a funny moment involving Scotty, I'll say no more.
JJ Abrams, the scumbag that was behind the notion of the world's stupidest and most irritating televisiual example of reckless ignorance towards narrative, ie "Lost" and the equally as mind numbingly atrocious Cloverfield movie, has given his existence validation. It's okay people, he deserves to be alive, he made a good Star Trek film. Maybe Hollywood and the TV studio execs are in actual fact, to blame for his prior crimes against sci-fi viewing humanity. Let's face it, those fabled "WMD's" that Bush and Blair were looking for in Iraq couldn't have done as much damage as LOST did to the world.
No, credit where credit's due and in all fairness Abrams has done an incredible job with Star Trek (2009) an astonishing feat for a man who said he'd not been that bothered about it prior to taking on the challenge of remaking it. As Ronald Moore did with Battlestar Galactica back in 2003, Abrams has performed a masterstroke, he's invigorated new life into an old and nearly written off franchise. More importantly, he made an awesome Star Trek film, no-one can take that away - and no Oscar or Bafta award can match the truly magnificent act of making a good, odd numbered Star Trek Movie - a previously inconceivable notion.
JJ Abrams, as a former and now reinstated Star Trek fan, I thank you. Mr Lucas, your days of ruining Sci-fi are numbered!
Upon first discovering that there was a new Star Trek film on the horizon, after dealing with the usual - "oh my god, it'll be an odd numbered Star Trek movie, and it'll be shite" - musings. I wondered what form the film might take, Next Gen? DS9? Or god forbid Voyager (i'm not even going to mention Enterprise - no way I can hear a movie version of that fucking theme song!). I was floored to discover, it would be the original crew albeit an origin movie, ergo the perfect excuse for new blood and re-envisioning of Gene Roddenberry's Original Star Trek series from the sixties. .
Well it would've been easy to say 12 months ago that sci-fi was in desperate need of some major overhauling - Battlestar was nearly over, Star Wars was about to return -for what some might say was an unnecessary Animated Feature, definitely ill-advised nonetheless - However the prospect of a new Star Trek feature unfortunately became buried under the mire of The Dark Knight and Heath Ledger's incredible penultimate onscreen performance as the Joker. Robert Downey Jnr's reclamation of his movie career as Tony Stark in Favreau's Iron Man, were just two of last year's culprits for the light being drawn away from the development of this re-imagining of, what some have described as a modern classic. Good thing too, too much attention may have had a detrimental effect on the final result.
So,
Was it worth the wait? in a word, Yes! A huge triumph in the same context that Battlestar Galactica's re-imagining was also a huge breath of fresh air for science fiction as a genre. Star Trek was well and truly kicked into the 21st Century, and about bloody time too.
Obviously the "Trekkies" will be in uproar over the destruction of Vulcan, the potentially awful portrayal of the Romulans (kind of like trampy, tattooed Vulcans with stubble) and the complete disregard for the original timeline - but they'd best make sure they WATCH the film, as to spend the duration in a rage would be to miss the point of the movie. Underneath all these elements sits an incredible sci-fi adventure, that well and truly validates it's own existence in the Star Trek cannon, far more so than the abortion that was Enterprise – even though there is a nod to it in this movie, a funny moment involving Scotty, I'll say no more.
JJ Abrams, the scumbag that was behind the notion of the world's stupidest and most irritating televisiual example of reckless ignorance towards narrative, ie "Lost" and the equally as mind numbingly atrocious Cloverfield movie, has given his existence validation. It's okay people, he deserves to be alive, he made a good Star Trek film. Maybe Hollywood and the TV studio execs are in actual fact, to blame for his prior crimes against sci-fi viewing humanity. Let's face it, those fabled "WMD's" that Bush and Blair were looking for in Iraq couldn't have done as much damage as LOST did to the world.
No, credit where credit's due and in all fairness Abrams has done an incredible job with Star Trek (2009) an astonishing feat for a man who said he'd not been that bothered about it prior to taking on the challenge of remaking it. As Ronald Moore did with Battlestar Galactica back in 2003, Abrams has performed a masterstroke, he's invigorated new life into an old and nearly written off franchise. More importantly, he made an awesome Star Trek film, no-one can take that away - and no Oscar or Bafta award can match the truly magnificent act of making a good, odd numbered Star Trek Movie - a previously inconceivable notion.
JJ Abrams, as a former and now reinstated Star Trek fan, I thank you. Mr Lucas, your days of ruining Sci-fi are numbered!
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