So let's chat briefly about the new Transformers movie Revenge of the Fallen. Oh and if you don't want the plot spoiling then it's probably best not to read on.
At first glimpse the film looks to be pretty much exactly the same as the first one, big giant robots that only a select few individuals know anything about..... Errr hold on a minute, didn't nearly the entire planet witness their arrival, as well as a ton load of city dwellers witnessing them having a HUGE battle with other big giant robots?????
Apparently not, the Autobota are now part of an elite gang, sorry I mean team of soldiers fighting against the Decepticons. Except this time the humans have bigger guns - oohh it's like the end of Starship Troopers only even more camp!
Let's not get ahead of ourselves though, the plot is relatively simple yet so deeply mired in a vain attempt to get the fanboys on side by interweaving bits and pieces from the accepted Transformers mythology, the films tends to get a little confused and unaware of where it wants to go. In the end, this film is quite unashamedly one thing, a big movie, with big robots and lots of explosions and why the hell not.
It's not like the world needs the 200 million spent on it's creation for anything more important. As a huge fan of the 80's Transformers movie, I think if only Bay had spent maybe a little bit of that gargantuan budget on a single writer from the rather extensive Transformers cannon then maybe, just maybe this film would have achieved a result as monumental as the budget.... To satisfy the fanboys.
As a normal, run of the mill type of individual such as myself (I know hard to believe for those who have actually met me) then this movie is quite simply a spectacular film with thrills and spills and loads of hillarity, well there's a couple of amusing moments.
Which brings me to the part where I discuss (sorry I meant, Rant) about the Humour in this film. There are some genuinely heart warming moments involving the geriatric Jetfire who, to be honest is the best character in the film and the only one who is actually developed in any kind mature and genuine way. The twins: Skids and Mudflap (I think they're called) are boring although they are worthy of a chortle or two in parts, but mostly are as irritating as JAR JAR BINKS and we all know where comparisons like that can lead us.
Insert Spaced Quote here:
No they don't do the impossible and make JAR JAR look like Shaft, but they do make Jazz from the previous film, a sorely missed character and one that, after this movie's events, we're likely to meet again.
The Decepticons again come off like one dimensional losers with next to nothing to show for their efforts other than a lot of dead robots, that will obviously be forgotten and buried in the Laurentian Abyss - for all the good that did them in the last movie.
The human characters once again ruin the the film, although not completely as there are plenty of big giant transforming robots to distract us from the scriptwriter's terrible dialogue. Seriously, they could make these movies without the human element and it would not only be a challenge, but might actually be good at the same time - too many human characters, makes these films near impossible to watch - also notable is the absence of Jon Voight as the senior government official in the previous film. WIthout him it just ends up being a shocking mix of rubbish human characters all offering their tuppence of mediocrity to the mix.
The stand out moment in the film for me was the moment where the snivelling human government official tries to sack off the Autobots by saying that it's all about America and they have the authority to speak on behalf of the whole world when asking if the Autobots would leave the planet if asked, fair enough Optimus has a good retort but WTF? Where did the notion come from in the first place that the US President has the right to speak on behalf of the whole world when it came to ALien matters?
Where do these fucking scriptwriter's get off? Arrogance and self importance or rather national self importance have nothing to do with Sci-Fi and only have a place in presidential election campaign speeches. Leave it at home you fucking ingrates and just write a movie.
To sum, I actually thoroughly enjoyed this yarn of a film and i'm sure that at Christmas, when the DVD (and Blu-Ray) is released I'll grab a copy and thoroughly enjoy it again, and the niggling factors will be forgotten, much like they were with the last one. Not a movie for Fanboys, but definitely an excellent addition to the Transformers universe. I just hope they get rid of the dickhead writer's and hire some people who can.
Suprising really, when you consider they wrote Star Trek and did an excellent job with that, a shame. Maybe they're one trick transforming ponies. Watch it, enjoy it and forget about it until the DVD comes out - but definitely go see it.
PS
Anyone seen the GI JOE trailer - don't the two guys in suits running and jumping around towards the end of the trailer look like they're moving EXACTLY like Ironhide and Ratchet do in the last Transformers movie - Hmmmm - cheapskate FX me thinks!!!!!!
Peace.
(Added: In a rage!!!! Coz I remembered summat!)
The addendum:
So, let's talk about the other apparently fascinating aspect of the Transformers series of films, The Megan Fox effect! As both a fan of excellent films and the hollywood hotties, I feel it VERY important to add at this juncture that Megan Fox is a sub-standard hollywood hottie - she has no original look and she's certainly not the hottest babe they could have added to make this film sale-able. The girl runs around with Chicken fillets in her push up bra pretending to be a lusty temptress, it's insulting.
The moral of this story cannot be "If you can't please the fanboysentirely then throw in some eye candy and they'll be happy" - If so, then at least put a chick in who doesn't spend the whole fucking movie pouting like the main special effect in a Tim Burton feelgood extravaganza! (Yes! i'm talking about Big Fish) God she's annoying in Revenge of The Fallen, and the last one as well! "Sayemm!!!" "Sayemm!!!" That's about the only line they could trust her with throughout the whole damned thing. His name's SAM!!!!!! three fucking letters you retard!!!! (No wonder they only gave her two wheels to ride in the movie, anymore and the whole fucking world would have been doomed) SAM is spelled S.A.M. and that's how you say it. It really isn't that difficult to say you pucker lipped mongtard
Transformers 3 - minus the tattooed bimbo (who'll ask for too much money anyway, in the typical bimbo fashion of "this movie will fail without me") - and whilst you're at it, all the other shite human cast as well - More giant transforming robots, more story and get some more Car manufacturers on side whilst you're at it, they got an Audi in this one, an R8 no less! and they lopped it in half, it was very cool though! but in the real world German cars kick American cars right in the ass and if the Autobots had any sense, at least one of them would be an M3!
